X & Y On The Fly - Dating Podcast | Love | Sex | Relationships

Scot and Emily McKay

Show notes, free downloads and more at: https://scotandemily.com/podcast | No AI-generated content, ever. | I'm Scot and she's Emily. We're the dating coaches you know and love over at X & Y Communications. Join us for the most heartfelt and action-packed dating podcast on planet Earth. We hit the ground running every show with solid dating and relationship tips from the unique (and often hilarious) perspective of BOTH genders. Less fluff = good stuff. And get this...we never resort to getting trashy. Squeaky clean and a class act all the way. How's that for unique? Grab a listen! And be sure to get in on our newsletter at http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com. If you like the podcasts you'll love our newsletter. You can also find us on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/scotandemily. We both also welcome your feedback and program ideas at scotandemily@scotandemily.com or via voicemail at +1 (210) 362-4400. Call or write to us! We appreciate your ratings and reviews. Thank you to everyone for your terrific support of this show for the past ten years! read less
Society & CultureSociety & Culture

Episodes

Episode 77--X & Y On The Fly--Underrated Ways To Know You've Found "The One"
Mar 29 2024
Episode 77--X & Y On The Fly--Underrated Ways To Know You've Found "The One"
Lots of dating and relationship advice talks about how to know when you've finally met the right partner to build a long-term relationship with. And yes, by now we know the basics about attraction, 'chemistry', sexual compatibility, shared values, shared life goals, avoiding 'red flags' and every other success factor we've heard a thousand times. Nevertheless, the divorce rate remains through the roof...even as more and more people in the Western world are giving up on relationships in general. But as you know, around here we believe statistics are most often weaponized by victimhood. Couples who last couldn't care less why others fail because they're built differently. You see, most long-term relationships--especially marriages--should never happen to begin with. The ones that last tend to go above and beyond the mere basics of attraction and compatibility. Couples who are built to last have discovered certain "hidden", or at least underestimated truths about what makes them right for each other. We're talking about a man and a woman here who don't feel like they have to 'work' to stay together; rather they GET to share life together taking on life's inevitable challenges as a team. In this episode we lift the veil on these very specific keys to knowing you've found 'The One' that almost nobody ever talks about. Some may sound optimistic, others downright cynical. And there are few you might not even believe ever really appear in real life. But after eighteen years of genuinely adoring each other, the one thing that's undeniable is at the very least you're hearing first-hand from a couple who still adore each other after all this time for far more reasons other than the mere basics. Have you been listening to the show for ages, and have always been meaning to get on out calendar and talk to us? Finally make it happen--for free, of course--at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
Episode 76--X & Y On The Fly--Dating And Relationships With Someone Younger
Jan 19 2024
Episode 76--X & Y On The Fly--Dating And Relationships With Someone Younger
Finally, here's the full episode on a topic that everyone wonders about. It's no secret that men often want to date younger women. But what is it about those guys who are actually successful at doing so? And is it really true that many amazing young women actually prefer older men? First off, what actually counts as an 'older man' to a younger woman? Does the 'half your age plus seven' rule make any sense? What if our mental images and/or stereotypes about what an older man and younger woman look like as a couple are challenged? Above and beyond all of that, what are some legit factors to consider when there's an age gap? I mean, is age really 'just a number'? What's up with dating sites only for people over fifty...is that what the market is really looking for? And speaking of online dating, how about those sites that specialize in 'sugar daddy' arrangements? Is there something to be said for being an 'old soul', looking for someone who's a better fit at an older age? Or is it that younger women like older men because 'little boys don't grow up'? Wait a minute...on that note, is it that men who prefer younger women really only want a tighter, sexually fit body to have sex with? Or is there more to both what younger women and older men tend to be looking for? And what about the 'skeletons in the closet' as we get older, and the effect it has on dating someone younger? What if older guy's new young wife wants to have kids? And is younger wife still gonna be 'all in' when her husband is old and in need of care while she's still young and active? And wait a minute...what about the newest trend of older women basically demanding a younger man to go out with? What's driving that? Pick your time to talk to us 1-on-1, download the free book and more when you go to https://scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
Episode 75--X & Y On The Fly--First Date Weirdness? You Are NOT Alone
Nov 10 2023
Episode 75--X & Y On The Fly--First Date Weirdness? You Are NOT Alone
If you've been out there dating for any time at all, you've likely compiled your fair share of weird dating stories. It's easy to think that those situations could only happen to you, and you've GOT to be the only one. But guess what? PLENTY of apparent weirdness on first dates is tons more common than you probably guess. This time around Emily and I recount not only a few of our own most bizzaro stories, but those of others we've heard from over the years. You can likely guess we started off with tales of gross misrepresentation and false advertising online. That topic is closely followed by talk about those awkward instances when only one of you thinks the date went well. Backlash when it didn't go well? We've got you covered. What about when they won't go away quietly? And don't forget those completely inappropriate demonstrations of or impatience about sexuality up front...or the opposite, taking FOREVER to make a move. What if your date (or you) are too flirty with everyone else? What if they become drunk and stupid...is that their "real self"? How is a date supposed to go well if the guy talks about his Mommy all the time (or worse)? Have you ever had a date bring unexpected "guests"...either literally or figuratively? What are the signs they're not even in the same reality as you? Maybe you're better off if they do, in fact, leave with someone else (as we finally get around to talking about as well). Get on our calendar and let's make a plan for YOU to get your dating life solved in 2024. https://scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
Episode 74--X & Y On The Fly--Creepy People
Sep 1 2023
Episode 74--X & Y On The Fly--Creepy People
We've all found ourselves out on a date with someone who creeped us out. And no...it's not gender-specific. But what does 'creepy' even mean? Why is it often so hard to define? Well, in this episode we break down exactly what constitutes such infamous creepy behavior...and how it tends to impact men and women differently. Is it possible some people don't even realize they're being creepy? Do others know for sure they are in fact creeps, but like it that way? What's more, why is it perfectly normal guys are often so concerned they're going to come across as creepy? How do we relax and avoid that worry...lest it weirdly become a self-fulfilling prophecy? What is the difference between male creepy behavior and the female version? How many women out there have somehow convinced themselves it's impossible for them to be creepy? Stay tuned for the one shining example of how the absolute best of intentions can actually backfire spectacularly and seem insanely creepy. What are the warning signs that the person you're with is starting to get creeped out? Next, Emily creeps me out in real time by randomly shifting the discussion to disgusting bodily functions...and in doing so makes a really good point. What kind of behavior might be creepy when you barely know someone, but completely normal and okay once you've been around each other for a while? And why is that? Under what rare circumstances could a certain person get away with something socially that would be creepy if nearly anyone else did it? If a first date is going in a creepy direction, is there any way to salvage it? Is 'Mr. Nice Guy' creepy to women? How can a man who by all appearances should be the most attractive to women easily end up being the creepy guy instead...for the same reasons? And why is is that whether we move too quickly or too slowly sexually, we're creepy? Get on our calendar and talk to us. The first 25 minutes is free: https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
Episode 73--X & Y On The Fly--What Does A Normal Relationship Look Like?
Jun 23 2023
Episode 73--X & Y On The Fly--What Does A Normal Relationship Look Like?
Every couple thinks and behaves differently. You've probably thought and behaved differently depending on who your significant other was at a particular time in history. But for sure there are, well...'standards' that tend to rule any polite, public conversation about how men and women typically are when they're a couple, and what's 'normal'. So then, what IS 'normal'? Is there really such a thing? And if so, is that really what's BEST in a particular relationship...especially for YOU and your partner? After all, sometimes 'normalcy' is unhappy. What kind of feelings should a couple have for each other? Can initial attraction and 'chemistry' possibly be a bad or dangerous thing, as some so-called experts say? On the other hand, is there any merit to the idea of 'learning to love each other'? And how do 'normal' couples behave? Is it healthy to 'fight', as some dating coaches have suggested? Or should you always be 'shiny and happy' instead? Surely, there has to be some middle ground, right? And what about jealousy...how much of that is 'normal'? Is total equality between men and women the new norm for most couples? And what about sex? Does any idea of what's 'normal' go completely out the window behind closed doors...or are most of us actually a lot more normal than we think we are? Get all the show notes, free downloads and more at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
Episode 72--X & Y On The Fly--All About Power Couples
Apr 14 2023
Episode 72--X & Y On The Fly--All About Power Couples
You hear the term 'power couple' quite a bit, but what exactly does it mean? We know one when we see one, for sure. But is it necessarily a good thing? Would we want to team up with our significant other to BE one? If so, how do we BECOME one? Well, let's first get this out in the open: I'm not sure whether we are indeed a 'power couple' or not, especialy after this conversation...as entertaining and informative as it was. So then, how about it? What kind of 'power' are we talking about here, anyway? What does it take for a couple to add up to more than the sum of their individual parts? What are the actual, real-world traits of a 'power couple'? Can a couple be a 'power couple' simply by acting like one, or does that distinction have to be earned...if not bestowed upon them by others? What are the different ways can a couple indeed be powerful? Doesn't the expectation to be a 'power couple' put a lot of pressure on spouses, especially if one wants it more than the other? Is this something we should aspire to--in one way or another--or does it all only relegate the relationship to feeling more like 'work' again? Is it true in this case that the bigger they are, the harder they fall? And hey, is there such thing as 'power parents'? That sounds flat-out cringeworthy. One thing's for sure about this episode, we didn't leave anything on the table, all the while taking ourselves far less seriously than any 'power couple' typically should. Catch show notes, free downloads and more at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
Episode 71--X & Y On The Fly--What Dating Is Like For Attractive Women
Feb 3 2023
Episode 71--X & Y On The Fly--What Dating Is Like For Attractive Women
It seems to everyone paying attention that beautiful women enjoy a massive 'halo effect'. It's like they're treated like celebrities--or even royalty--everywhere they go. But what else is going on there? What's it REALLY like to be a sexy, attractive woman out there in the dating world? Well, in my decidedly un-biased opinion, Emily is exactly the right female human being to offer first-hand perspective on all of this. First, off, we talk about how there are two kinds of women...those who rely on their looks, and those who see the bigger picture. What's life like for each? Do women look for reasons to 'reject' men? And what's it like to have to put almost everyone in the JBF Zone? What do truly attractive women really think when a man compliments them? Could it really be true that the hotter a woman is, the LESS she gets asked out (even if she's 'hit on' more)? Do women really enjoy their ability to 'get laid' by almost anyone, anytime...or is that only how men think? What is the BIGGEST problem beautiful women face when dating? What's the real-world social difference between childhood beauty queens and late bloomers? Are there women who don't realize they're beautiful? Why do some women burn through a cycle of commitment phobic men, while others get proposed to early and often? What about women who weaponize their looks...how does that work? And what's the deal with 'self-made sexy women'? What does that even mean? So sure, attractive women may have the power in dating...but do they WANT it? What happens when they meet a chooser instead of another chaser? Get all the free stuff you can handle, and talk to me for FREE when you visit https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
Episode 70--X & Y On The Fly--Weed Out The Wrong Ones
Nov 25 2022
Episode 70--X & Y On The Fly--Weed Out The Wrong Ones
Who knows why this topic hadn't been covered yet around here? My edumckayted guess is it probably had something to do with repressed memories. Yes, Emily and I both are survivors of first marriages affected by profound illness. And yes...we both strongly agree you would be better off avoiding psychotic people in general, especially as romantic partners. But when you get right down to it, that's only one kind of person who you should definitely write out of your romantic story. So why is it, then, that too many people end up with the wrong person? Is it that they ignore red flags? Is it failure to even recognize red flags at all? Or does low self-esteem compel people to settle, which is at least better than being lonely? Is it about being 'clouded by beauty vision'? For sure, some people are manipulated or even threatened by black-hearted partners into sticking around. Or what if it's something else entirely? Well, here at X & Y Communications we believe in deserving what you want. That means rolling up the sleeves and doing what it takes to make the right relationships happen. Well, after this ironically funny and entertaining episode, we pledge you'll be much better equipped to pick up on warning signs, make better decisions and most of all...ultimately weed out crazy, selfish, mean, addicted, needy and/or fundamentally incompatible people. Visit the web site for free downloads, show notes and to talk to us FREE for 25 minutes: https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
Episode 69--X & Y On The Fly--Blended Families
Sep 2 2022
Episode 69--X & Y On The Fly--Blended Families
Let's face it, when single moms and single dads get together, it's pure naive idealism that would cause us to expect we're creating our own Brady Bunch. The reality of blended families is much different. Emily and I have been there ourselves, and have first-hand experience. We know full well it can seem more like being put through a Vita-Mix than a mere blender. But does it have to be such an ordeal? Well, there's no doubt that bringing everyone involved under one roof is a challenge, but yes...there is plenty of 20/20 foresight that can minimize both the drama and the pain. And what if you're already all together and facing profound issues as a blended family? No worries, Emily and I have real, actionable answers for you as well. So, why is blending a family uniquely different when it comes to baseline compatibility measures? What should we think about BEFORE dating a single parent? How does selfishness creep in to the picture...often with devastating results? What if you straight-up don't like each other's kids? What's the first thing that ought to happen as soon as you get engaged to a single parent? And what is the best way to give each of your kids a measure of ownership over their own destiny as step-kids, without conceding parental control? This is a big topic for sure, but prepared to be amazed by how much ground gets covered in one episode. Nevertheless, if this show raised more questions, please write us at scotandemily@scotandemily.com and/or visit us at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
Episode 68--X & Y On The Fly--Words That Cannot Be Unsaid
Jun 17 2022
Episode 68--X & Y On The Fly--Words That Cannot Be Unsaid
As the lyrics of one of Tyler Childers' songs say, 'There is hurt you can cause that time alone cannot heal'. When it comes to our interactions with women, a breathtaking amount of that pain is caused by what we say...or what SHE says. And when we get into a relationship, the stakes get even higher. We get straight to the point in this episode, first addressing the weird childhood refrain that 'sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me'. So then, what about childhood? How does what our parents--and maybe even teachers--tell us form our views of and expectations toward future romantic relationship? What's the truth about how early-stage communication between men and women can deeply impact BOTH participants, both in the short-term and the longer-term? What are the differences between how men and women tend to process conversational conflict...and the surprising similarities? What are the patterns that lead to couples blurting out extremely painful barbs at each other...and how can we guard against saying that which can never be unsaid? In what ways can be arm ourselves with wisdom so as to prevent harmful insults, angry threats and heated 'confessions' from ever being uttered to begin with? What subjects should couples absolutely avoid if they want to avoid bitterness and resentment? Finally, listen in for some practical, actionable habits that Emily and I have adopted within the framework of our marriage to ensure our conversations remain productive...even when we're cranky? Find the show notes, free downloads and more at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
Episode 67--X & Y On The Fly--Who is Jen, And Why Is She Texting You?
Apr 1 2022
Episode 67--X & Y On The Fly--Who is Jen, And Why Is She Texting You?
No matter how well a couple gets along and navigates their relationship, there always seems to be a challenge to your relationship coming from somewhere. It can start with the best man's TMI speech during the wedding reception. But what about unsolicited advice from miserable people who can't even manage their own relationships? Jealous BFFs and sneaky exes? Baby mamas and baby daddies? How about other toxic people in your life you just can't cut out, for whatever reason? Sometimes it's his kids, her kids and even your kids together. How about when there's a member of the other gender who is 'just a friend'? Sometimes you don't even have to be on The Newlywed Game in order to be humiliated in front of way too many people...a simple party game of 'Would You Rather?' can do the trick. What about job-related pressures, or bosses, or when coworkers start interfering with your relationship? Is there ever a time when these people should be allowed to exert influence, or is that a loaded question? What about a job change, especially if that involves a major schedule disruption or even relocation? Is it possible that fictional characters can negatively affect how couples relate to each other? How does that work? What about social media and text disasters? Can media headlines and political opinions seep into a relationship and affect a couple's perception of compatibility? Is there any way to anticipate potential outside influences prior to getting into a relationship, and develop a 'contingency plan' of sorts...or does life simply tend to throw too many unexpected curveballs, despite our best-laid plans? By the way, no...there REALLY isn't a Jen, already. Get all the free stuff at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
Episode 66--X & Y On The Fly--The Little Things That Make A Relationship Suck
Dec 31 2021
Episode 66--X & Y On The Fly--The Little Things That Make A Relationship Suck
In the second installment of our two-part episode, Emily and I break down the little things couples do (often to each other) that make a relationship suck. To kick things off, we talk about the scene in the movie The Good, The Bad And The Ugly itself that's the best metaphor for how men and women ruin their relationships together. Next, we talk about the importance of realizing that some allegedly 'small' annoyances in a relationship are actually HUGE to the other partner. And YES...you want examples, and we've got 'em. What's the difference between being snarky and being a smart-ass...and is either okay? What are some dangerous ways that bad parenting can actually negatively affect your relationship? What should always be off the table in any disagreement and NEVER fair game? And how about those habits we fall into that seem innocuous at first, but prove to be toxic over time? What kinds of expectations are too idealistic for real life...and which are perfectly reasonable? How do external stresses seep into a relationship to make it worse? What negative effects can pregnancy have if we're not vigilant? How about blended families? What happens when men and women confuse being equal with being the same? And no discussion of the little things that can wreck a relationship would be complete without discussion of your sex life together, right? Get ready for a no-holds-barred experience, as no stone gets left unturned. And after listening, get all the free goodies and more by checking out https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
Episode 65--X & Y On The Fly--The Little Things That Make A Relationship Great
Dec 24 2021
Episode 65--X & Y On The Fly--The Little Things That Make A Relationship Great
This is the first of a two-part episode on the little things that either make a relationship great, or make it suck. Sure, you hear about the major pillars like trust, communication, attraction, etc., but this is a deeper dive into the subtle effects certain mindsets and/or actions have. The first order of business is to describe how big mountains are often (maybe even usually) composed of small pebbles. How important is being playful instead of taking oneself so seriously? What does that even mean? Should you put THEIR needs and OUR needs ahead of YOUR needs? If so, what if your needs never get met? Next we talk about various kinds of 'micro-bursts' that can really supercharge your relationship. What does it mean when we say, 'Freedom from obligation is literally nothing'? How can certain little secret messages and spontaneous flirts change the dynamic between partners for the better? What 'three little words' are every bit as important as 'I love you'? Is talking everything out overrated? Discover the meta level truth behind small things mattering in a relationship. Next, we reveal the insidious ways we trick ourselves into focusing only on the big picture, with predictably disastrous relationship results. What is the important conversation that must take place between a couple before getting married? (Well, there are lots of them, for sure...but this is one that rarely gets mentioned.) How about the little gestures that matter during pregnancy and the early days of parenthood? Yes...we cover those too. Talk to us for FREE for 25 minutes when you get on our calendar at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
Episode 64--X & Y On The Fly--Trust Is The Cornerstone Of Every Relationship
Oct 8 2021
Episode 64--X & Y On The Fly--Trust Is The Cornerstone Of Every Relationship
It's the foundation of every good solid relationship. With it, you and your significant other are set for years of blissful happiness together. Without it, you're likely doomed to failure. We're talking about trust, of course. Emily and I have enjoyed a trusting relationship with each other for nearly sixteen years now, and she finally sat down with me for a deep dive into all aspects of what that trust looks like. What causes men and women to lack (or lose) trust for each other? How do established mindsets wreak destruction on a nascent relationship before it even has a chance? Should two people trust each other at the beginning blindly, or is that earned over time? What is a reasonable amount of suspicion versus simply being paranoid? What do you do when lack of trust becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy? And how can we shake that nagging feeling of unwillingness to trust again after getting hurt over and over...isn't that kind of like not trusting oneself to begin with? And what about the strain that long-distance relationships put on trust? Do pre-nuptial agreements automatically betray lack of trust right from the beginning? How much does communication really have to do with all of this? Why does Emily enthusiastically support my in-field outings with you guys to practice meeting women? And for the big finale, we cover the three cornerstones of a good, solid trusting relationship that's built to last. So what about you? Are you in a relationship where trust is lacking, and want to either build it up or get it back? Would you like to get into a healthy relationship but find it hard to trust again? Let's get on the phone together and talk about it. Get on our calendar at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
Episode 63--X & Y On The Fly--Neediness, Desperation And Trying Too Hard
Jul 9 2021
Episode 63--X & Y On The Fly--Neediness, Desperation And Trying Too Hard
Who knew a funny video featuring two cockatoos would lead to a full-on discussion of one of the most devastating--and common--ways we do mess up our chances in dating and relationships? I'm talking, of course, about trying too hard. Do men, especially so-called 'nice guys', do this more than women? If so, why is that? Can it really be as simple as because men do EVERYTHING to impress chicks? But what are the ways that women tend to try too hard? Why do people think this works to attract people, when the weird psychological effect is the exact opposite? Instead of pushing people away, how can we PULL them in magnetically? And what's the difference between needy approval seeking as opposed to simply being too damn perky, upbeat, enthusiastic or optimistic? Why do people persist in trying too hard, even when they already realize they're 'pushing it uphill' and their efforts are doomed to failure? And what's up with men's tendency to try logicking women into liking us? Women often say they 'want a man to pursue them', but how is that different than chasing in desperation? Of course, no discussion such as this would be complete without straight talk on when to actually give up. Catch show notes, free downloads and a chance to talk to us free for 25-minutes about turning your life around for the better...all when you visit https://scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
Episode 62--X & Y On The Fly--Stand By Your Man...Or Your Woman
Apr 23 2021
Episode 62--X & Y On The Fly--Stand By Your Man...Or Your Woman
In 1968, Tammy Wynette released probably her most famous single, which caused immediate outrage from the Women's Movement. But Wynette countered by saying 'stand by your man' simply meant accepting one's husband despite his faults. But still, by today's standards the song might evoke even more vitriolic outrage. Yet, a recent Facebook post brought up how men are always taught how to treat a woman, but teaching women how to treat a man would be anachronistic at best, sexist or even patriarchal oppression at worst. So what's up with that? Are women just teaching their daughters how to stay away from men? Do the so-called 'red pill' guys and #MGTOW have a point when they decry the double standard? Well, Emily and I throw all of this on the table, along with the sandwich she just made me (kidding). But there's a lot to talk about here. I mean, obviously both women AND men should stand by each other in a relationship, right? But not everyone deserves what they want here. When does loyalty turn into being a doormat? And what happens when men don't WANT to be 'treated', and just want to be left alone to do stuff themselves? Can't people in relationships just do right by each other, and like it? I mean, if we don't stand together we'll inevitably grow apart...right? Go to https://scotandemily.com/podcast, where you can schedule a free 25-minute call with us to talk about your future, and getting you into the right relationship. === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
Episode 61--X & Y On The Fly--Dating And Relationships In 2021
Jan 1 2021
Episode 61--X & Y On The Fly--Dating And Relationships In 2021
2020 has finally drawn to a close and it's time to address 2021. What will the 'new normal' look like insofar as dating and relationships go? How soon until we can actually get there? What unexpected surprises might be in store for all of us, whether we're currently in a relationship or looking forward to getting into one? What can be observed from past pandemics and applied to the current dating situation? What are the perhaps untold truths about how men and women have been relating together all along for the last nine months? And what about some real-world strategies for making damn skippy sure 2021 is far better than 2020? How much of that is really within our control, anyway? Are we really going to be doomed to endless suggestions for 'Zoom dating'? Where can our source of optimism come from in a world where many believe it's as bad as it gets and won't get better anytime soon? Well, if you're going to favor an optimistic viewpoint, you're going to need a plan to bounce back. You don't have to go it alone. Go to https://scotandemily.com/podcast and start the year off right by scheduling a free 25-minute call with us to set that plan in motion. === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
Episode 60--X & Y On The Fly--Happy Relationship Or Miserable One?
Dec 25 2020
Episode 60--X & Y On The Fly--Happy Relationship Or Miserable One?
Last week on The Mountain Top podcast I said out loud that I had never met anyone in a happy relationship who was miserable. That concept is worth a deeper discussion, and who better to have it with than the very woman I'm in a happy relationship with? Now obviously, one can be perfectly happy without being in any relationship at all, for sure. But right out of the gate, Emily floats several more complicated scenarios; asking if someone can be happy despite a miserable relationship, if miserable people necessarily get into equally miserable relationships, or if two people miserable in the same way can somehow contort themselves into their mutually-agreeable form of bliss together. But first things first. We define 'misery' in clear terms, then call out the 'elephant in the room' with regard to whether COVID lockdowns have wrought more relationship misery even among typically happy couples. What about couples who argue constantly, aren't they inherently miserable...or not necessarily? What happens when people who love drama get into relationships...does misery always ensue? Does relationship misery have to be a permanent state, or does it ebb and flow? Can it be cured completely? Can two miserable people alleviate each other's misery by finding love together? What are some practical ways people unwittingly doom their relationships to misery? And the biggest question of all...what twisted mindsets in today's post-modern world are contributing to record rates of relationship misery? Meanwhile, does dorkiness stave off misery? Well, after the dust clears from this crazy episode, the one certainty is that YOU don't want to end up in a miserable relationship yourself. Get a plan to fight back against the miserable statistics by talking to me for free. Just click the red button in the upper right hand corner at https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
Episode 59--X & Y On The Fly--His Masculine Side, Her Feminine Side
Oct 2 2020
Episode 59--X & Y On The Fly--His Masculine Side, Her Feminine Side
Everyone has heard about how men have a feminine side and women a masculine one. How true is that? And if it's the case, how does the concept typically manifest itself? Is it a good thing, or is it something we would be better off minimizing the effects of? And wait a minute...are the traits and behaviors that we somewhat automatically consider masculine or feminine really such, or are they simply human? What if all of this is just a social construct to begin with? But what if it isn't? Then what? Does that change the whole perspective? I mean, if masculinity is 'toxic' as we're led to believe nowadays, why are so many women trying to act like men? What if we all migrated toward the feminine instead? But can't there be such a thing as 'toxic femininity' in that case? After all, is femininity always 'soft' and inherently innocuous? And what of the idea that masculine dominance is sexy to women...how can that be? How come there are tomboys but no such thing as a tomgirl? What do single moms have to do with all of this? Stay tuned for the trait we've never really considered feminine before, but just might be...and we make a solid case for it. But all the while we're the same couple of dorks you know and love, who may or may not have knocked back a couple before hitting 'record' on this episode. Find the right relationship or dramatically improve the one you're already in. It all starts with a phone visit with us, free for 25 minutes. https://www.scotandemily.com/podcast === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!
Episode 58--X & Y On The Fly--Sexy Moms, Sexy Dads
Jul 10 2020
Episode 58--X & Y On The Fly--Sexy Moms, Sexy Dads
Parenthood is hot, and we can prove it! Curiously enough, however, the first direction we went in was debating the 'dad bod' and 'mom bod' factor. Do men really desire that rail-thin supermodel body, or do many prefer a woman shaped more like she's had a baby or two? In addition to what they look like, how do hot moms really turn guys on? Is how men act and carry themselves as dads even more profound an issue when it comes to turning those hot moms on? And how about 'boy moms'...what's the deal with them, and why are they so cool? How does life experience and parental obligation contribute to a particular affinity between single moms and single dads? When the idealistic 'halo' of childless singlehood fades, is that actually a good thing for a budding relationship? Why do so many dating coaches for men warn against dating single moms? Does that advice apply equally to single dads? Are there actually men and women out there who prefer single parents, even if they don't have any kids themselves? And God help us...what's the deal with 'dad jokes' and the certain women who love them? Find the show notes page at http://www.scotandemily.com/podcast. The program on how to have a great long-term relationship is finally available. Find the men's version at http://www.gettogetherstaytogether.com and the women's version at http://www.scotandemily.com. === HELP US SEND THE MESSAGE === The content in this show is NEVER generated by AI. We discovered it can't handle a joke a long time ago. Meanwhile, we'll keep the practical, actionable ideas coming as well as the entertaining part...all for free. If you love what you hear, please rate the show on the service you subscribed to it on (takes one second) and leave us a review. As we say here in Texas, we appreciate you!